Kallian Endris (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kallian_endris) wrote2015-12-23 12:35 am
kallian_endris) wrote2015-12-23 12:35 am
IC INBOX
...is there something with which I can help you?
...is there something with which I can help you?
Aye, well, maybe so.
[She has a point about the Wardens, even if he still thinks Bethany would be willing to share for friendship's sake. He doesn't agree with all of the rest of what she says, however, and it's not long before he winds up shaking his head.]
You're just as deserving as anyone else, you know. And you should be able to have a place where you feel safe.
[Whether or not she believes him, as far as he's concerned, she does - even if she doesn't need to necessarily have a place all to herself if she doesn't want to.]
You don't need to stay there alone if you really don't want, though. You can always find a-a roommate. Like Someone you trust that you think should have a place too.
[She has a point about the Wardens, even if he still thinks Bethany would be willing to share for friendship's sake. He doesn't agree with all of the rest of what she says, however, and it's not long before he winds up shaking his head.]
You're just as deserving as anyone else, you know. And you should be able to have a place where you feel safe.
[Whether or not she believes him, as far as he's concerned, she does - even if she doesn't need to necessarily have a place all to herself if she doesn't want to.]
You don't need to stay there alone if you really don't want, though. You can always find a-a roommate. Like Someone you trust that you think should have a place too.
Not really. I'm... pretty low on the priority list. Elf apostate--that's two counts of undesirable to society right there. And... I don't know if I'll ever feel safe. I don't think I ever have. Not that I can remember, anyway.
[She blushes at the mention of a roommate.]
I don't know who I could ask. I wouldn't want to expose someone else to the risks of living with someone like me. Not for more than a few nights, anyway.
[She blushes at the mention of a roommate.]
I don't know who I could ask. I wouldn't want to expose someone else to the risks of living with someone like me. Not for more than a few nights, anyway.
I know. And... I'm terrified. For both of you. Justice deserves a chance to go home to the Beyond where he belongs. But... would a separation leave you both whole?
I don't know.
[His voice is quiet.]
I hope it does. All I know is that we can't go on as we are. There's too much danger to it, and for more than us.
[His voice is quiet.]
I hope it does. All I know is that we can't go on as we are. There's too much danger to it, and for more than us.
I still worry for you. And if the next step doesn't work... what then?
We've a total of five Adelaide's found that she thinks have a chance. We'll work our way through those. I've no idea what comes after that, if none of them are effective.
...I won't let them kill you, if it comes to that.
If I become fully an abomination, Kallian, sparing me will cost other lives. It will no longer be truly me, and people who should not be hurt will be.
I made a choice some eleven years ago. Others should not have to pay for that.
I made a choice some eleven years ago. Others should not have to pay for that.
Very fortunate indeed. And how did you fare with so many to treat?
You are not an abomination. He is not a demon. Don't you dare talk like that.
It... it was exhausting. I became ill myself. So many people needed help... I wore a cloth over my nose and mouth, trying to help mitigate it getting any worse. Parts of it still feel more like dreams than memories...
[He almost answers about technicalities, but he stops himself in time.]
I'll stop talking like that. I'm sorry.
[It's sometimes hard to remember that people care about him, and how he he talks about himself can hurt them.]
But this could go very wrong, and I am tired of hurting people.
I'll stop talking like that. I'm sorry.
[It's sometimes hard to remember that people care about him, and how he he talks about himself can hurt them.]
But this could go very wrong, and I am tired of hurting people.
Aye, well, you'll never know if you don't try, that's for sure.
[True, things could go badly, but at the same time if she never takes that risk then she'll never find out if things can be different here, and even though he's tempted to smile at that blush, he gives her a more serious look instead.]
Not even someone who could handle themselves if it came down to it? Someone who doesn't care what other people think, and are willing to take that risk themselves?
[True, things could go badly, but at the same time if she never takes that risk then she'll never find out if things can be different here, and even though he's tempted to smile at that blush, he gives her a more serious look instead.]
Not even someone who could handle themselves if it came down to it? Someone who doesn't care what other people think, and are willing to take that risk themselves?
I am hardly surprised. It sounds perfectly dreadful and virulent.
[To the point. Oddly enough she's concerned as much as she is angry. It makes perfect sense to the Iron Lady who has calmly folded her hands on her lap.]
And how well did you do pacing your expenditure of magical energy? It's entirely possible to burn yourself out to a husk without careful and judicious care for your personal reserves and stamina.
[She knows. Look at that calm, collected expression. No flipping tables or even a twitching nerve to give her away. But she knows.]
[To the point. Oddly enough she's concerned as much as she is angry. It makes perfect sense to the Iron Lady who has calmly folded her hands on her lap.]
And how well did you do pacing your expenditure of magical energy? It's entirely possible to burn yourself out to a husk without careful and judicious care for your personal reserves and stamina.
[She knows. Look at that calm, collected expression. No flipping tables or even a twitching nerve to give her away. But she knows.]
...yes, Madame.
[The small elf sags a little, shrinking in on herself protectively, becoming smaller still.]
I did the best I could. I used mostly herbs, poultices, tinctures. Mundane means of healing, as I always have in the tents. Other talents... only when I had to. When I had no other choice. And if my strength grew too thin... I had Hope there to help me.
[The small elf sags a little, shrinking in on herself protectively, becoming smaller still.]
I did the best I could. I used mostly herbs, poultices, tinctures. Mundane means of healing, as I always have in the tents. Other talents... only when I had to. When I had no other choice. And if my strength grew too thin... I had Hope there to help me.
Mmm.
[Just a hum, taking in the information and filtering it for bits and pieces of truth. That folding in on herself certainly isn't good. Vivienne doesn't mind frightening people in the least but that's not a good start for a young mage.]
Let's not having you shrinking in on yourself. You're a mage, my dear, which is nothing to be ashamed of. I simply do not understand why you didn't tell me in the first place.
Now then, about Hope. You are a spirit healer then? And have you had any formal training whatsoever? I'm certain I could arrange for you to sit with Adelaide and her students.
[Just a hum, taking in the information and filtering it for bits and pieces of truth. That folding in on herself certainly isn't good. Vivienne doesn't mind frightening people in the least but that's not a good start for a young mage.]
Let's not having you shrinking in on yourself. You're a mage, my dear, which is nothing to be ashamed of. I simply do not understand why you didn't tell me in the first place.
Now then, about Hope. You are a spirit healer then? And have you had any formal training whatsoever? I'm certain I could arrange for you to sit with Adelaide and her students.
I couldn't ask that of someone. Partly because I'm sure they have better things to do and better company to keep than guarding me. I have no wish to die, but... I'm no one worth protecting. The people I would trust... They have lives of their own. Having me around is... ah... awkward...
Even you, Jamie. I am so, incredibly grateful to you for so many things, but... If not for me, I'm sure you'd be sound asleep somewhere warm and comfortable. Not dozing in chairs or sitting around a kitchen waiting for water to boil in the wee hours of the morning. I am sorry about that.
Even you, Jamie. I am so, incredibly grateful to you for so many things, but... If not for me, I'm sure you'd be sound asleep somewhere warm and comfortable. Not dozing in chairs or sitting around a kitchen waiting for water to boil in the wee hours of the morning. I am sorry about that.
[She shakes her head.]
In truth, madame, I... really haven't told anyone. Where I come from, that's a good way to end up dead. The other spirit healers could sense it. They were drawn to it. Adelaide already knows. She found me months ago because she found Hope first. And then a friend of mine... he almost died fighting demons at a rift. It was either letting him die or using magic, and... people saw... I panicked, tried to run, but Anders found me and brought me back. Now... everyone knows, because they could see Hope with me during the sickness. I couldn't insult them by denying it when asked.
[She looks up again.]
I have been trained since I was eleven. When the slavers took my mother, I was taken in by an elderly woman. She'd escaped the Circle years before and said she'd seen signs in me. She taught me everything she could over the last twelve years until her death late last year. After her funeral, I left Denerim and came to Skyhold.
In truth, madame, I... really haven't told anyone. Where I come from, that's a good way to end up dead. The other spirit healers could sense it. They were drawn to it. Adelaide already knows. She found me months ago because she found Hope first. And then a friend of mine... he almost died fighting demons at a rift. It was either letting him die or using magic, and... people saw... I panicked, tried to run, but Anders found me and brought me back. Now... everyone knows, because they could see Hope with me during the sickness. I couldn't insult them by denying it when asked.
[She looks up again.]
I have been trained since I was eleven. When the slavers took my mother, I was taken in by an elderly woman. She'd escaped the Circle years before and said she'd seen signs in me. She taught me everything she could over the last twelve years until her death late last year. After her funeral, I left Denerim and came to Skyhold.
[Apostacy upon apostacy. Maker, what a mess. Still, Vivienne is already trying to think of ways to turn this into a benefit. After she frowns at Adelaide for hiding information from her.]
This does rather change things. Clearly your gifts are far better suited than dusting and polishing for the Du Poivers and I would never dream of hiring a fellow mage for a meager household position myself.
Still, I would feel so much better knowing that you've formal tutors to rely upon fulltime. With the Circles in disarray, I fear that education has suffered greatly, as has the due respect of the diligent.
[She quietly sips from her tea, letting the silence convey her disappointment and disapproval.]
It must have been perfectly dreadful for you in Ferelden having to hide and fear for your life. A shame you had not been at Montsimmard, there would have been no question over your lineage whatsoever and you would have been treated as an equal based on your own hard work.
This does rather change things. Clearly your gifts are far better suited than dusting and polishing for the Du Poivers and I would never dream of hiring a fellow mage for a meager household position myself.
Still, I would feel so much better knowing that you've formal tutors to rely upon fulltime. With the Circles in disarray, I fear that education has suffered greatly, as has the due respect of the diligent.
[She quietly sips from her tea, letting the silence convey her disappointment and disapproval.]
It must have been perfectly dreadful for you in Ferelden having to hide and fear for your life. A shame you had not been at Montsimmard, there would have been no question over your lineage whatsoever and you would have been treated as an equal based on your own hard work.
I don't think having you around is awkward, you know.
[Far from it. But it seems she's not willing to entertain the idea of a roommate right now, so he decides to let the idea go - even if he still thinks she deserves to have a place that's hers.]
And I've slept in chairs often enough before this, even before I came here. If it bothered me, I'd have said something. Besides. I like the company. So don't you think you've got to apologize for that.
[A tiny grin plays around his mouth then, something ever so slightly mischievous.]
Although if you really feel you need to make it up to me, I'll not say no to a wee bit of something to nibble on along with the tea.
[Far from it. But it seems she's not willing to entertain the idea of a roommate right now, so he decides to let the idea go - even if he still thinks she deserves to have a place that's hers.]
And I've slept in chairs often enough before this, even before I came here. If it bothered me, I'd have said something. Besides. I like the company. So don't you think you've got to apologize for that.
[A tiny grin plays around his mouth then, something ever so slightly mischievous.]
Although if you really feel you need to make it up to me, I'll not say no to a wee bit of something to nibble on along with the tea.
How... How are you?
[There's some people he needs to hear from, just because he needs to know they're all right. Kalli is one.]
[There's some people he needs to hear from, just because he needs to know they're all right. Kalli is one.]
Detlef! I'm all right. Really, I should be asking that of you. Are you okay? It's... over?
I'm... It's over, yes. He's dead. Justice is dead.
[Anders doesn't sound happy.]
[Anders doesn't sound happy.]
...I'm so sorry. I know he was your friend, and your partner for many years. Is he just... gone, then? Did he go back to the Fade?
[That earns him a blush.]
I... Sorry, I didn't even bring anything to make as far as food goes... I'm not sure if they would let me into the stores to make muffins...
I... Sorry, I didn't even bring anything to make as far as food goes... I'm not sure if they would let me into the stores to make muffins...
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